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HUMOR and Fu NnY jOk Es!

THE SUIT

A man goes to a tailor to try on a new custom-made suit. The first thing he notices is that the arms are too long.

``No problem,'' says the tailor. ``Just bend them at the elbow and hold them out in front of you. See, now it's fine.''

``But the collar is up around my ears!''

``It's nothing. Just hunch your back up a little... No, a little more... That's it.''

``But I'm stepping on my cuffs!'' the man cries in desperation.

``Now, bend you knees a little to take up the slack. There you go. Look in the mirror--the suit fits perfectly.''

So, twisted like a pretzel, the man lurches out onto the street. Reena and Selianna see him go by.

``Oh, look,'' says Reena, ``that poor man!''

``Yes,'' says Silianna, ``but what a beautiful suit.''

PHILOSOPHY

A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about.

He asks his father for advice. The father replies: ``My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy.''
The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds.
He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic. He asks the girl: ``Do you like potato pancakes?'' She says ``No,'' and the silence returns.
After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, ``Do you have a brother?'' Again, the girl says ``No'' and there is silence once again.

The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question: ``If you had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?''

ELEPHANT FABLE

The Blind Men and the Elephant A Hindu fable by John godfrey Saxe from Elephants ancient and modern by FC Sillar and RM Meyler. Note: ``The Blind Men and the Elephant'' occurs in the Udana, a Canonical Hindu Scripture.

It was six men of Indostan To learning much inclined, Who went to see the Elephant (Though all of them were blind), That each by observation Might satisfy his mind. The First approached the Elephant, And happening to fall Against his broad and sturdy side, At once began to bawl: `God bless me! but the Elephant Is very like a wall!' The Second, feeling of the tusk, Cried, `Ho! what have we here So very round and smooth and sharp? To me 'tis mighty clear This wonder of an Elephant Is very like a spear!' The Third approached the animal, And happening to take The squirming trunk within his hands, Thus boldly up and spake: `I see,' quoth he, `the Elephant Is very like a snake.' The Fourth reached out his eager hand, And felt about the knee. `What most this wondrous beast is like Is mighty plain,' quoth he; `'Tis clear enough the Elephant Is very like a tree!' The Fifth who chanced to touch the ear, Said: `E'en the blindest man Can tell what this resembles most: Deny the fact who can, This marvel of an Elephant Is very like a fan!' The Sixth no sooner had begun About the beast to grope, Than, seizing on the swinging tail That fell within his scope, `I see,' quoth he, `the Elephant Is very like a rope!' And so these men of Indostan Disputed loud and long, Each in his own opinion Exceeding stiff and strong, Though each was partly in the right, And all were in the wrong! So, oft in theologic wars, The disputants, I ween, Rail on in utter ignorance Of what each other mean, And prate about an Elephant Not one of them has seen!

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